The Neuroscience Of Manifestation with Dr. James Doty

Welcome to Let It Be Easy with Susie Moore.

Susie Moore:

I've known about Dr. James Doty for years since I read Into The Magic Shop: A Neurosurgeon's Quest to Discover the Mysteries of the Brain and The Secrets of the Heart years ago. I followed his work, I love how he speaks so deeply about compassion, and I was thrilled to interview him about his book that's coming out in 2024, Mind Magic. What I love about Mind Magic and this conversation with Dr. James is how we break down not just how manifestation works in a woowoo from a woowoo perspective, but practically speaking, what's happening in the brain, how we train our brain to set us up for success in allowing us to achieve everything that we want to be, do, and have.

Dr. James shares his personal experience so deeply in this book and in this conversation that we've had together. He had it all, he lost it all, he's got it all again. We are talking about the real life experience of someone who's really done the work, the deep, deep, deep work who understands the brain and who has a really interesting deep and different point of view on life. I think you'll love this conversation. I give you Dr. James Doty. Dr. James Doty, oh my! Welcome to the podcast.

Dr. James Doty:

Well, it's great to be here. Thank you for having me and I am excited about our conversation, although I have no clue where it's going, but we shall see.

Susie Moore:

We shall see. I just finished your book yet to be released, Mind Magic: The Neuroscience of Manifestation and How It Changes Everything. I loved it. I think it should be required reading, because there are so many places, I was thinking, "Where can I start this interview?" But I think what I just keep coming back to is, don't we get manifestation wrong? Don't you think popular culture has gotten it just like greed, greed, greed, me, me, me. I want a Ferrari, I want a diamond ring, I want that boat, I want that island?

Dr. James Doty:

Well, you're absolutely correct and unfortunately, the problem is that the nature of western society is one which promotes conspicuous consumption and self-interest. There's this false narrative that unfortunately so many people have bought into that my life will be perfect if I have a million dollars or if I live in a big house or if I have this position and all my worries will be over. Of course, most of us would say, "Well, that's completely not true." But the fact of the matter is that is what a lot of people strive for, and there are a couple issues with that.

One is, popular culture promotes these types of narratives, where you see either influencers who want to be something or you actually see very wealthy people showing off their lifestyle. My argument is that the people who are doing that actually don't understand what is necessary to fill the emptiness that each of us has. They're confused or have been misled by this narrative that, "Well, I live in this big house, I drive this car, and all these people are looking at me and they want to be like me and therefore, I keep doing it to get more of this," what I would say, food without calories, because it's very transitory and you get nothing from it. The reality is that people are confused by what they think they need versus what they actually need. This is where books like The Secret or the Prosperity Gospel that talks about me, me, me, I get this, I want that, and therefore, life will be perfect for me is a complete misrepresentation, I think, for what manifestation is.

The reality is all of us on some level are manifesting or trying to because that's the nature of how we aspire for things to be different. The problem is most of us get it wrong. What I mean by that is that how we evolved as a species is actually to care for the other. Of course, if you look at the evolution of our species from hunter gathered tribes or even the nuclear family, when our offspring as an example, are hungry or suffering, in pain, whatever, we have this motivation which is built into our genes to care, to alleviate the pain, to nurture. When we do that, we're actually rewarded, because not only do we get the release of oxytocin and other neurotransmitters that make us feel good or affect our reward and pleasure centers, but the other thing that happens is actually our physiology works its best when you care for another.

This is why the Dalai Lama has made the comment, "Being kind to others is the only time it's okay to be selfish." What he means by that is that, when you care for another, you're receiving benefit, and that is how we should look at manifestation, because the way we evolve then actually gives us the tools to manifest. But the manifestation has to be not about you, it has to be about the other. Doing something to improve the life of another, caring for another, having an aspiration or intention to make the world a better place. When that is your goal, all the other stuff will come if you want that. But if you're doing it in reverse, many people will fail and many people will be disappointed and unhappy. I think that's what the book is mostly about. There are other things, obviously, which we can talk about or which you'll probably bring up.

Susie Moore:

Yes, I have so many notes here, oh my. Truly, is an hour enough? I don't know. There are so many questions I have. You have actual firsthand experience with this because you start the book, by the way, never has a better first line of a first book being written.

Dr. James Doty:

Well, are you going to share it?

Susie Moore:

I think I'm going to call. That's why I'm going to call this interview actually. I love it. "The universe doesn't give a fuck about you," and I love how you wrap with this at the end, "Must read the book, friends, when it comes out 2024." But when I first read that, I was like, "I already like this book. I'm intrigued," and then of course you go into your story. Can you say what you mean by that? Well, doesn't the universe love us unconditionally? Is the universe just always rooting for us? Tell us what you mean by this.

Dr. James Doty:

Sure, sure. Well, it's funny because John Ham, the actor of Madman, he is a good friend of mine and he was reading it and he said, "Well, at best, the universe is indifferent," and I think that's probably the case. But what I meant by that is so many people seek affirmation from outside of themselves, and it gets back to what we're talking about earlier. It's like, "Well, if I just had this job and people will look up to me, I'll be okay." Or, "If I make this amount of money or if I live in this house or I have this job, then I will be okay." I have to be honest with you, I was in that same boat for a long time because, in my case, when you grow up poor, you have this naive notion that what's necessary for you to be happy is to be rich.

Again, numerous studies have demonstrated that if you have your basic needs met, whether it's home or place to live, security, food, then you don't need really much more. In fact, what's a horribly sad thing is you see people come from, let's say the Third World, who essentially have their needs met and they're incredibly happy because they're with their family, they're with their community, because that's how we evolve to live, and that's when our physiology works its best. The problem is that the West has spread a narrative that happiness involves having stuff, and this is what's so sad is you see people come from Third World countries where frankly, especially in Eastern countries where they have these really profound practices, whether it's Buddhism or Hinduism or whatever, they have these profound practices that have helped them maintain their communities.

Then, they come to the West and they get caught up in this ridiculous conspicuous consumption, and they'll come here and because they don't either have access or education, then they end up, let's say, being a janitor. There's nothing wrong with being a janitor. I have been a janitor myself, and there's nothing wrong with digging ditches, I've done that myself. But the point is that's not going to get you the big house and all the stuff that you have diluted yourself that you think is necessary to make you happy. I can tell you from my own experience, whether it was graduating from medical school or becoming a neurosurgeon or a professor or being CEO of a billion-dollar company or whatever it was, every time I reached the pinnacle, there was nothing there for me. It's interesting because I had all of these friends who had said, "Wow, Jim, you're really rocking man. You got all these babes and you can go here and you drive a Ferrari and you live in this big house," and I was never more miserable in my entire life, because I kept seeking affirmation from outside myself.

The reality is that, thus the quote is, "Only you can make yourself happy." That's by accepting yourself. It's by understanding what's truly important, friendships, relationships, family, and leaving this idea of stuff behind and understanding that it's okay to say I have enough. When you're able to do that, you will be gloriously happy. Watching a sunrise costs nothing, but it's profound. Swimming in the ocean, all sorts of these things, they're absolutely profound. Now, listen, and I'll tell you, I have had multiple Ferraris, multiple Porsches, lived in huge houses, flown on private jets. Is it fun? Sure, it's fun. Do I need it? No, not at all. If it goes away tomorrow, it doesn't bother me a bit. This is the other aspect is, again, it's not denying yourself either. You don't have to be a renunciate to live "a good life" or caring for others, but you have to understand that so much of this stuff is completely unimportant.

Susie Moore:

It's very compelling, though, we can really get sucked into this. Someone can live their life completely obsessed with more, more, more, the statement you just shared, "I have enough." I don't think I've ever heard anybody say that actually ever in my life. Interestingly, apart from Jim Carrey, who you reference often throughout the book, maybe you could talk about him for a second because he's also, of course, here on my list. I loved how when he shifted the question to what do they want? How can he be of service? How there was such a big shift for him. Could you speak to that for a moment in the context of Mind Magic?

Dr. James Doty:

Well, sure. Again, this is where we get confused because we create the narrative that it's about us and this is where we get lost. It's really about being of service, and the example of Jim Carey is that he was miserable and he was trying so hard because he was trying to be something versus the difference in understanding what people actually really wanted and needed, and that was for him simply to be who he was and not be focused on success or, again, I would call them false narratives of success. Once he changed, everything changed for him. In fact, it's interesting because when you listen to him talk, there's a depth and profoundness to what he says. I would also comment that, if you look at the lives of many people in comedy, they oftentimes have been filled with suffering and pain. Being a comedian sort of externalizes that and allows you to sit with that. Even people like Archbishop Tutu or the Dalai Lama, who've been through immense suffering in their lives, they also have great sense of humor. I think that is another important aspect and also not to take yourself too seriously,

Susie Moore:

Which is very hard for a lot of us. It's like, "It has to be perfect," and you speak about perfectionism in the book. When I was going through this, a few things that I just thought that really stood out to me were ... okay, a few things. Realizing that everything is bigger than you, that really creating a switch within you. The most significant vibration we can have will always come from our hearts. Knowing what's subjectively salient, what is most important, metacognition, so actually tracking, monitoring our thoughts, value tagging. Do you see all the ... this is such a must read, oh my. Actually, I would like to go straight into, because I think this is, again, speaking about the practicality of manifesting the filing clerk and the bloodhound. These are all related. As you said, we're all almost always manifesting all the time, consciously or unconsciously. If we want to welcome something and maybe it's better health or it's a love in our life or maybe it is some type of possession, what's the importance of repetition? What is the importance of feeling it with an elevated emotion?

Dr. James Doty:

Well, let me just go through one other aspect that people don't appreciate. Our sensory organs, which make us who we are at the end of the day, because that information comes in and the brain processes it, combined actually with the information that's there for good or bad, we're only able to process about 50 to a hundred bits of information a second, when in fact about 6 to 10 million bits of information come in every second. Now, a large, large percentage of that goes to maintaining our body homeostasis, how our body functions, and it's all at a subconscious level. In fact, when we talk about manifesting, we say, "Well, everybody does it all the time." We are manifesting in the sense that we say, "Oh, I want that." But the problem is there's not necessarily consistency with that. There are actually techniques whereby you can actually embed these things into your subconscious that then become very powerful. This is this aspect of the bloodhound and, what was the other one because I forgot?

Susie Moore:

The filing clerk of bloodhound.

Dr. James Doty:

The filing clerk, yeah, because once you're able to embed that, and I talk about cognitive networks in your brain, the attention network, the salience network, the executive control network, the default mode network, and how they interact, when you're able to then consciously embed something into your unconscious, then it becomes very powerful, and then you activate the bloodhound, if you will. What I mean by that is, and I'm sure you've probably experienced it, if you're at a party and it's very noisy, if somebody says your name from across the room, you suddenly turn to it. How are you able to filter all of the stuff that's going on to focus on that?

Our name, if you will, is deeply embedded in us. The same thing can occur with whatever it is you're trying to manifest. Oftentimes, we don't even understand how our subconscious helps us get what we want. What I mean by that, as an example, if you look at the popular AI stuff that's coming out, they don't even know how you sometimes get the answer, and in some ways, it's like your subconscious. You don't know the processes that are going on to get you there. As an example, let's say you were seeking some sort of an investment in an idea or company you started. Well, when you embed it into your subconscious as an example, let's say you're at a coffee shop, you may then suddenly be attuned to the fact that the fellow next to you is talking about his interest in this project and how he would like to invest in something like that, but he hasn't found the right partner.

These types of events, which we can use the term synchronicity, become more commonplace. Again, when you are practicing this, and you talked about repetition, it's like anything. It's like whether it's physical exercise, whether frankly compassion or self-compassion, there is a necessity that you repeat this over and over again. Again, if you look at sports physiology, you talk to top level athletes, they repeatedly live in their head about the event they're competing in to the point where they see every aspect of it all the way, let's say, through the end of a race. The best way to do this is to use every one of your sensory organs to strengthen that embedding, and this is why repetition and using these techniques such as you write it down, so you're doing a physical act, you're reading it, you're saying it over and over, you're listening to it, then you visualize it and you can almost taste it in front of you, you see yourself in that position. All of those things increase the likelihood of you manifesting your intention.

Now, the caveat is as follows. One, what you think is best is not always best in terms of what you're trying to manifest. What I mean by that is you may have this, as example, let's say getting to medical school. You may say, "Well, I want to go to this school," and you've got this whole view there, and then suddenly, for whatever the reason is, you're accepted to this other school, but you're not accepted to that. Well, the goal was to get into medical school, and you may have created a narrative around that, but for whatever reason, your subconscious has moved you in a different direction. Or, you sit there and say, "Well, I want to do this by this date." Again, it may not happen on that date, it may be six months later. You have to understand that it's not necessarily absolute. There are other aspects that you may not, on a conscious level, appreciate that ultimately guides you in a different direction. Or, in fact, some of our intentions may not be healthy for us or frankly, just are not possible. That's also something you have to keep in mind.

But again, the other aspect of this is, what causes suffering is attachment and craving. You have to separate that from manifesting your intention. What I mean by that is if, frankly, so much of what we do is the journey, it's not the destination. People get lost in the destination, but they're not living in the present moment enjoying the journey. You also have to separate yourself from that. If something doesn't happen the way you think it should or want, there may be a whole variety of other circumstances which you don't understand, and therefore, it's not going to manifest. Nothing's a hundred percent, nothing happens on the timeline necessarily that you want. But what I would suggest is, if you use these techniques more likely than not compared if you didn't, you are going to be able to manifest.

Susie Moore:

What about those situations where, because this happened to actually two friends of mine in two different situations recently. One wanted a specific number for her house sale. She was like, "I'm feeling good about it. I'm visualizing. I'm doing all the things." I think that sometimes we think I can manipulate this with the right thought work, I can get it. She didn't get the number that she wanted. Another friend of mine came out with a book earlier this year. She did a lot, she put a lot of action into it, and there was an elevated emotion, I did see it, but she didn't hit a specific list that she wanted to hit. Sometimes they come to me and they're like, "Well, why it didn't work? The things didn't work." What would you say in those situations?

Dr. James Doty:

Well, because what you were focused on was not the right thing. If you're focused on reaching a number, that's about you. "I want to reach that number because it will benefit me, because I'll make more money." Versus saying, "My house is a bargain and the person who's going to buy it is going to be a special person who is going to appreciate the effort, the love, the work I put into this home, and I want to find that person who really appreciates it." You're doing the same thing, but it's a completely different way of looking at it. It's like the book that this person, "Well, what is her goal?" "Oh, I'm on the New York Times bestseller list. I'm important, it's about me."

Susie Moore:

That was the goal, yeah.

Dr. James Doty:

Yeah, it's about me versus saying, "I have created a book that I believe is going to help a lot of people." It's irrelevant if it's on the New York Times bestseller list, everything is irrelevant. If that book can help one person to improve their lives, then it was all worthwhile. I don't need anything else. This is the confusion that people, because they're so focused on "what I want" and it's about me versus looking at it from the perspective of the other. When you do it that way, that changes everything, and that's the whole point of this book.

Susie Moore:

What if someone is resolute though? What if they're thinking, because this friend of mine who didn't hit, it was a New York Times Bestseller list, someone else, another one of our friends did. They had the exact same goal. She hit her goal, so she's very happy about it, celebrated it, this other friend didn't. What if she's like, "Yeah, I actually don't care about that thing. Elevating the lives with loads of people, or even one person." Maybe they actually both even had that in common, but they both had the goal, one hit it, one didn't. In that situation, is there actually then a secret intention? Is there something else driving us?

Dr. James Doty:

Well, again, oftentimes, many of these things are out of our control and all of our manifestation techniques aren't helpful, and things happen and they just happen. I, obviously, don't know either of those parties. I would like to believe that the person who hit that goal had some sort of a different world view, but they may not have. Look, there are "influencers" or people go, "You know? I wanted that Porsche or that Ferrari, and I got it, and here I am, and here's my picture standing next to it." Okay, is that healthy? I don't think so, but that's not for me to decide.

From my perspective, my focus is to try to be of service, because I know both for myself, but also for my physiology and how I walk in this world, it's a much better path for me. I'm not trying to push it on anybody, but I would suggest to you that having a constantly selfish outlook about how somehow you deserve all the things that you want isn't helpful, it makes people unhappy, and your friend who didn't get on the New York Times bestseller list is a classic example. She's miserable or he's miserable. They didn't make it, I'm a failure, I deserved it. Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, no one cares.

Susie Moore:

No one caress. It's the truth. No one's also looking at you thinking you're a failure, because everyone's also just consumed with their own stuff.

Dr. James Doty:

Exactly. Well, it's funny you say that because people go out of their house and they'll go, "Oh, I've got to have my tie done and my suit this and this," but the reality, nobody gives a shit. It's funny because I have a teenage, an older teenage son, and he's like, "Well, I want to look this." Oftentimes, I'll just irritate him because I'll go out in a sweatshirt, in sweats and flip-flops, and he'll go, "Well, how can you go around like that?" And I said, "Because I don't give a fuck. I'm not here, this isn't performance art. Either you like me, you don't like me," and the fact of the matter is, let's say, if you go to a Ferrari dealership, yeah, they may judge you, but the fact of the matter, if you walk in sweats and a sweatshirt and you don't give a shit, that actually makes them even more they'll go, "Who is this guy?" Frankly, look, I am who I am and I do my thing and look, it works for me.

It's funny, we have a farmer's market by where I live, and every Sunday there's a booth I go to where they sell a particular type of sandwich, which I like, and that's my Sunday treat. I always end up, because the owner actually is the cook, so the back of this tent or whatever's open, and he's back there cooking, and I usually pull up a chair and bullshit with him while I'm eating my sandwich. Again, I'm probably dressed in sweats and whatever. This woman comes up and she goes, "Are you Dr. Doty?" I said, "Yeah, I am." She goes, "I can't believe that you're sitting there." I'm like, "What do you mean?" She goes, "Well, but you're famous." "Well, first of all, I'm not particularly famous, but I appreciate you saying that. But what am I supposed to do? Be dressed to the nines on Sunday, walking around the peacock, wanting people to look at me?"

Susie Moore:

Or eating at the Ritz, only eating at the Ritz, yeah, exactly.

Dr. James Doty:

Yes, yes, yes. Yeah, that's what I should have said. Well, I just came from the Ritz, but I'm here because this is a charity case, and I bought the sandwich to make this about that.

Susie Moore:

Isn't it so interesting how our minds work, how we care about judgment, even unknowingly, just what goes on inside of us? Another thing that I think sometimes too is, if someone didn't get the exact manifestation that they want. Say, "I didn't get it, I didn't get the house sale money, I didn't hit the list." Sometimes I think we take score a little bit too soon, don't you? Who knows what's to happen or what's to change and why do the results? Well, I know we all want results now. We don't want results in a year or two years, but do you think that we rush straight to, "Oh, that was a failure," or, "That was something that didn't work out." We just jumped to that a bit too quickly?

Dr. James Doty:

Well, I think that unfortunately, and then there's some evolutionary reasons why that is. As we evolved as a species, we are highly attuned to threat, because that puts our life at risk. On the Savannah in Africa, from experience or observation, if the grass is moving and you don't see anything, there might be a lion or leopard or something there. Then you suddenly go, "Oh my God," and then your whole sympathetic nervous system is activated and you run away and run up a tree or whatever. The problem is that things that are often occurring that are negative, they're like sticky post-it notes, they stick to you. Oftentimes, these are statements about yourself.

Unfortunately, also by the nature of how many of us have grown up or our backgrounds, there are many things that have hurt us, and those are more sticky post-it notes we put on ourselves. We're covered in these, and so we have a tendency to be hypercritical about ourselves. This is a truism of everyone. It's funny, I'll ask this question, how many people are self-critical or repeatedly tell themselves they're not good enough, they're not smart enough, et cetera, et cetera? Usually, the vast majority of people raise their hand and I say, "For the people who don't, you're lying."

Susie Moore:

Right, right. Yes, yes, yes.

Dr. James Doty:

Yeah. Everyone has this, and the challenge is understanding where it comes from. Two, Understanding it's not truth, and three, having no emotional response to it. This is the nature of some mindfulness practices. But the other side of it is also you have within your ability to change the narrative from one of negativity to one of positivity. Again, we're talking about intention by repeatedly making statements, "I'm good enough, I'm worthy, I deserve love." That diminishes that negative self-talk. None of us will make it go a hundred percent away, but it will certainly diminish it. When you see it for what it is, and this is this idea of metacognition. We're not lost in that, but you're an observer seeing what's really going on there, you can sit there and say, "That's bullshit."

Susie Moore:

Sometimes I feel confident and capable if I'm doing something, especially if it feels familiar and say it's a repetitive task. In the same breath, I can also feel inadequate and yet still take the action. Do you feel that sometimes taking the action ... this is really what everyone talks about, imposter syndrome and following through, courage isn't the absence of fear, it's acting with the fear. Do you find that if we encourage ourselves, even when we're like, "Yeah, I don't know. I am new to this," or, "Maybe this won't be utterly perfect, but I'm still willing to do it." Does that also build on manifestation muscles? Does that also put us in [inaudible 00:34:03]?

Dr. James Doty:

No, I think that's right. It's funny you say that because as an example, I get asked to talk about different things or to do different things, and to be honest with you, some of them I have no fucking clue.

Susie Moore:

Talk about leadership when it comes to X, Y, Z types of people, and you go, "Okay!"

Dr. James Doty:

Yeah, and you find out, and what's interesting is that, first of all, many of us are so much more capable than we believe. The other aspect is nervousness or fear diminishes your executive control function, so you lose access to memory and experiences, so then it only gets worse, because you can't recall anything and you're up in front of a crowd, and then you're thinking, "Now everyone's judging me," and it only exacerbates it.

My own experience, and this is not to say that I was not in that position, but in one of the first experiences that I had where I had to stand in front of a large group of people and speak, I was actually terrified. In fact, it actually happened the first time I was hosting an event with the Dalai Lama. Even though I'd spoken before, but it wasn't in front of a large crowd, and of course, I translated this, everybody's going to think I'm an idiot. I don't know what I'm doing. I actually ended up going to a speaking coach for really three sessions, where it was basically him and I just chatting. In that instance, because what I found I would do when I was anxious and nervous is, I would start speaking really fast to the point where I'm not making sense, but I just think somehow if I keep talking, it'll all makes sense.

Susie Moore:

You want to get out of the way.

Dr. James Doty:

Yeah. Then, after spending time with him, I just realized that, first of all, I'm fairly well-educated, I'm fairly experienced, and who gives a fuck what other people say?

Susie Moore:

Well, no one's going to think the same thing anyway. If you speak in front of a thousand people, there are a thousand opinions.

Dr. James Doty:

Yeah, but you don't want people to go, "Wow, the guy was really nervous up there and he really screwed this up." My point was that suddenly I felt relaxed. I wasn't in fear because it didn't matter. I've done enough things in my life and have been successful on different fronts, who has the right to criticize me when I'm doing the best I can? That's all any of us can do. Again, in some ways, I changed, and maybe it's the opposite of what we're talking about earlier. In this case, so many people are fearful of what people think that it impacts them versus saying, "I have enough confidence in myself. I am okay," and you accept that and then everything becomes easy.

I used to, again, be trapped when I would be asked to give public lectures where, "Okay, I've got to have the slideshow. It's got to be perfect, and I've got to rehearse it." It actually wasn't helpful because, oftentimes, you're trying to play off the crowd, but you're stuck in the slideshow. I, finally, just said, "Fuck it." I just stopped making slides and I just went out there and just talked. The thing is, people love it because you're natural, you're relaxed, it's evident that this isn't a canned speech, and you're human and you're vulnerable.

In fact, I, oftentimes, will tell stories that are very painful to relive in front of an audience, but the thing about it is that when you show that vulnerability or humanity, no one criticizes you. In fact, almost everyone wants to embrace you. It's funny, I gave a talk one time where my voice cracked and I shed a tear, I'm sure. Afterwards, woman comes up to me and there are like 250 people there, woman comes up, she says, "Thank you so much. Can I give you a hug?" I said, "Of course." Well, essentially 250 people gave be hugs.

What's funny is, to contrast with this, I was given a talk. Again, same thing happened because I tell these stories and I'm not afraid to tell these personal stories, and a woman comes up to me, she goes, "I felt so sorry for you up there." I go, "Well, why?" She goes, "Well, your voice cracked and it was obvious you were emotional. I'm sure you just felt horrible that all these people were watching this breakdown." I'm looking at her going, and she goes, "I am a psychiatrist and a hypnotist, and if you see me for three sessions, I'll get rid of that." I'm like going, "Are you out of your mind?" On some level, being able to sit with that and be okay with it is a superpower.

Susie Moore:

Oh my gosh, and self-compassion too is such a big theme in the book. I know that you say here that it's actually kryptonite to our criticism, to our self-criticism, being able to have compassion. Why is self-compassion so impossible? Especially with women, I feel like. I don't know, maybe it's equally true for men, but I tend to work more with women, and I just realize how they're so hard on themselves about small things, about things that seem really significant, and it's endless. Even though they are very smart, they know no one has to be perfect, they don't expect that of anybody else. I would say, "Would you say that to me if I did that?" And they're like-

Dr. James Doty:

Of course not.

Susie Moore:

Right.

Dr. James Doty:

No, no. People are harder on themselves than they are on anyone in their circles. It's sad and it doesn't have to be that way. But again, it comes from an insecurity that you have and that probably has been ingrained early on, and so you can change it. As we were talking about, you just have to be able to learn that you're okay.

One of the challenges for all of us is, we have this shadow self, if you want to refer to Jungian philosophy. It's this mixture of all the bad things we think about ourselves, as well as things that we should have done but didn't, could have done, but didn't, and et cetera, et cetera. We failed people and we lied, we may have cheated, we may have done bad stuff, and we sit there and carry this thing and we're ashamed of it, and we want it to go away, and we don't want it to be part of us. The same with these insecurities and all of these other things.

The problem is, the more you force it away from you, the more powerful it becomes. What I mean by that is, it's not going to go away, it is part of you. You should not try to force it away, because when you're weak, when you're vulnerable, when you're hungry, these are the times when you have given that thing power, which then takes over and you do things that you regret or do very negative things. The thing is, you have to integrate it and do who you are, accept it, acknowledge it, and it's okay, because everyone has that.

Once you're able to do that, you don't carry this constant fear about being found out. It's like, you were mentioning your women friends and it was more prevalent. I don't know whether that's true or not, but the fact of the matter is, we are who we are, all of us are worthy, all of us deserve love. Frankly, we're all frail, fragile human beings, and it's okay. Whether you're crying, whether you're hurt, whether you're in pain, that is the human condition and being able to accept someone and be non-judgmental, being compassionate, being empathic, these are critical attributes that, by being that way towards others, you also hopefully end up being that way towards yourself.

Now, sadly, there are people in some of the caring professions who, because of their own damage, they feel that they have to help everybody and they'll kill themselves to help everybody, but inside, they're in horrible pain and suffering. At the end of the day, you have to take care of yourself. You have to care for yourself, you have to love yourself. Now, you hear me saying this, and you go, "Well, yeah, that's easy for him to say." Well, it's not easy for me to say because I fail repeatedly. I do not live up to all of the things I would like to be, but it's okay. I think we all have to be able to say, "I'm okay, and I'm not perfect." You could argue, there's a woman named Poppy Jamie, I think, or maybe it's the other way around, but she has a podcast called Imperfectly Perfect, and I think that's the way we all are.

Susie Moore:

You say in the book, to which I really like, you say that staying on course is a daily struggle. It's interesting because people often see me too, and I am very optimistic, and I do a lot of work on my own mind, and I'm very conscious and intentional about what I think in the morning. If I start to feel negative emotion, I do a lot of belief work in my actual business. We have an amazing membership, which I love so much, and we examine our beliefs constantly, especially, well, really only the ones that make us feel bad.

Staying on course is work, because I think that sometimes people think, "Oh no, there are some people that are just really tapped into some magical force. That's what mind magic is for a lucky few, who just get it. Or, there are some people who just blessed things just go their way. That's not true. Life goes wrong. I read your book, I know what you've experienced. There's been tough stuff. Do you think that ... this is a question that I get sometimes because people I think can be a bit scared of this. They think, do we manifest the bad things, so that the bad health report, like say a diagnosis or the person just walking and leaving us and it was a complete surprise or losing a job. What's your experience taking those situations?

Dr. James Doty:

Well, again, yes, we have some ability to manifest, but that being said, there are externalities that impact us as well, and that we don't have control over. Somebody getting cancer, generally speaking, is because they're bad people. It just happens. Now, that's not to say that how you view the world doesn't have an impact. As an example, we know that people who are constantly negative and constantly stimulate their sympathetic nervous system, which is a very unhealthy thing, oftentimes get sick.

In fact, we know that, as an example, children with ACEs, this adverse childhood experiences, where there're some abuse, whether it's physical, mental, sexual abuse, if there's drug and alcohol in their background, and their parents, if they live in poverty. These types of things have a profound effect on your physiology, and oftentimes, these people have negative attitudes about everything. As a result, this gets manifested. Oftentimes, these people are not successful because they haven't learned the tools to function in modern society. They, oftentimes, have not finished their education, oftentimes, because of their exposure to drug and alcohol abuse, they become abusers themselves. At the end of the day, they have a variety of chronic diseases. Yes, I think your mental attitude can profoundly affect your health. But the other side of it is none of us are immune, and this is the sad thing about ultra-wealthy people, even wealthy people, they think that having money protects them. None of us are in control. We pretend we're in control, but we're not. We have some ability to have an influence, but it's not absolute, and I think that's what you're talking about.

The difference is that, let's say if you're diagnosed with cancer, we know that your mental attitude can have a profound effect. Now, I'm not saying it'll cure your cancer, but it can certainly affect it in terms of how fast it grows or just how you mentally respond. Because there's a subset of people, they'll get a diagnosis like that and they'll go, "My life's over. This is horrible," versus other people say, "Well, listen, I've led a good life. I've had wonderful privilege. I've been with my family. It's been incredible. I'm very fortunate, and I'm thankful regardless of what happens." Versus going, "Oh my god, this is horrible. I'm not able to do this and that, and I wanted this, and life is so unfair and life's horrible."

Well, again, frankly, life is unfair. It just is. As much as we can try to put icing on that cake, life is unfair. There are people who are horrible human beings who seemingly are incredibly successful and there are people who are saints who deserve every blessing, who get nothing. This is why the first sense of the book, the universe doesn't give a fuck about you. But you can give a fuck about you and you can give a fuck about everyone around you. As a result of that, you can improve the lives of others. You can improve your own life by having an open heart, embracing people and demonstrating this unconditional love. When you're able to sit with that and hold that, that is the most powerful thing in the world. Whether you're able to do that for a second or a lifetime, it is elevating, it's profound, and that is the purpose for why we're here in this world.

Susie Moore:

You give so many amazing exercises in this book that we can do laid out for us, so much is included here. There's so much value in this book. What's your daily practice to stay on course with how you feel and managing your own emotions and staying on track?

Dr. James Doty:

Well, I'm a failure repeatedly.

Susie Moore:

Right, yeah, mm-hmm. I think we all are. Yeah, it's okay.

Dr. James Doty:

Yeah, but you see, this is the problem is. People ascribe to individual, these incredible abilities. Don't get me wrong, I mean, there are individuals who are extraordinarily disciplined and do X, Y, and Z every day. I would like to say I'm one of them, but I am not, and I accept that. But I try the best I can. Again, it's the trying and doing the best you can, it's not perfection. Again, we're all human beings. Yes, I try to live up to what I write about, but I am not perfect. It's funny, there was a movie that Gotham Chopra did about his father Deepak. Of course, people have this view that, "He gets up at three and does yoga for three hours, and then he does this."

Susie Moore:

His crystals, this, yeah.

Dr. James Doty:

Then, Gotham filmed him and he is knocking on his door, and he is like waking up going, "Oh god, what time is?" "Well, it's 9:00." "Oh, okay. I've got, I mean, it's."

Susie Moore:

A bacon sandwich and a beer.

Dr. James Doty:

Yeah, well, I'm not sure about that, but certainly, he's a human being. I've had the joy and the pleasure to spend a lot of time with probably more spiritual leaders than anyone alive, frankly. Whether that's the Pope, Tutu, the Dalai Lama, Sri Sri, Sadhguru, on and on and on, Eckhart Tolle, et cetera, every one of these people are human being. The fantasy that gets built around how they live, it's a fantasy. They are human beings. Now, that's not to say that they're not elevated spiritual beings. That's a slightly different conversation, but they are human beings who suffer, who are in pain, who hurt, and that's just reality. I've seen the Dalai Lama cry, but I've also seen him really fucking pissed. It's not like there's this, "Oh, yeah."

Susie Moore:

Yeah. It's not a lifelong meditation, right.

Dr. James Doty:

Yeah. No, no, no. I think that's the takeaway. Even, sometimes people, because I shared so much in my first book, and I think in this one somewhat, they have this false notion that I'm somehow perfect and have insight and about everything, and look, no. I do the best I can. It's funny, I tell a story. I was on stage with the Dalai Lama and Dharm Solo one time at his residence doing an event, and there was a woman in the audience who clearly was a socialite type. It's funny, Richard Gere was there, and she was moving over the few days towards Richard Gere, because he was important. Then, a few weeks later, I'm in Los Angeles doing an event with Eckhart Tolle, and amazingly, the same woman is there, and she's in the front row. Then, the next time I'm on stage with Amma, the hugging saint doing something or other, I look at the audience and this woman's in the front row again. I'm going, "Holy Shit!"

I am hosting an event at Stanford and we have a reception afterwards, and lo and behold, this woman shows up. She says, "I've watched you, and god, it was amazing. You know the Dalai Lama, and you're with him on stage and Eckhart. Amma's really close to you." She goes, "Obviously, you have something." She goes, "I want you to be my guru." I said, "Really?" She goes, "Oh, absolutely. I'll do anything." I said, "Anything?" "Oh, absolutely. You name it. If you'll be my mentor and my guru, I'll do anything so that I get the insights and awareness," blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.

I said, "Okay, then here's what I want you to do. I'm going to give you a list of 100 books. I want you to read for four hours a day. I want you to meditate for two hours a day, and then I want you to journal for two hours a day." She goes, "That's eight hours a day." I said, "Yes." I said, "This does not come for free. You have to work to get to the place where you have these types of insights and things like this. It's not one book, you have to spend a lot of time trying to understand these things and gain insights and awareness and the power of these narratives."

She said, "That'll take forever." I said, "Well, yeah. It's going to take a few months probably." She goes, "But what am I going to learn at this? Are you going to be mentoring the whole time?" I said, "No. When you're done with this, you'll come back to me." She goes, "But what will you tell me? What will I have learned?" I'll say, "Well, if you've done it correctly, when you come back to me, you'll say, I don't need you at all, because everything was in those books."

Susie Moore:

Well, there you go.

Dr. James Doty:

Unfortunately, she chose not to follow that path.

Susie Moore:

But it's interesting. We're always looking for a bit of a quick solution. It's like, how do I just feel good? But that's why it's so easy to buy something or to drink something or to eat something. It's like, "Oh, how do we get there?" It's like, "Well, you got to read the things. You got to try the things. You got to go inside a little bit."

Dr. James Doty:

Well, exactly. The thing is, what so many people don't understand, it's your mental attitude, it's not any of these other things. Yes, you can exercise, yes, you can eat a "right diet," whatever it is. At the end of the day, it is your choice about everything that happens to you in the sense of how you respond to it. An event in and of itself has no valence. It's neither good nor bad. It is how you respond to the event, and then how you embed that into your subconscious that gives it its power. Anytime you think of that event, every time you run into a person who was responsible for that negative event, you have this immense reaction, and of course, it's a negative reaction. This is the whole idea of forgiveness, because it's not about the other person, it's about you.

It's like you're drinking poison somehow thinking that that is going to make the other person suffer because they hurt you. Of course, that's ridiculous, and so you just have to let it go. This is not to say you forget about it, it's not to say you don't remain cautious, but all of that negativity, you don't have to carry. I think the greatest gift I or anyone can give somebody is to release them and to make them understand that their happiness is their choice. It doesn't matter the external events. Epictetus, who was a slave during the Roman times, he made a profound statement. He said, "I cannot control that I'm a slave. I cannot control what I am required to do, but I can control how I respond to that and how I think about that," and all of us have that choice.

This is, as an example. I know an individual from who has a very humble job, and he is the happiest person to be around. In fact, he works at a cafe as a waiter. I go there specifically just to be with his energy, because he's so happy, he's so grateful. Just being in his presence reminds me of how blessed I am. Another statement that people say is to hang around with people you admire, who you aspire to be like, versus hanging around with people who always are negative or always promoting the bad aspects of our humanity. Now, don't get me wrong. Sometimes I go off on a diatribe like that, but I try not to. Again, what I keep emphasizing, which I'm sure you appreciate, is the fact that I am not perfect and I'm a human being, and I screw up and fuck up as much as anyone and I still deserve to be loved just like you do.

Susie Moore:

Dr. James Doty, what is your intention for Mind Magic when this is released into the world, into so many different pairs of hands like, "Oh gosh, what is this? How do I understand the neuroscience behind manifesting? How can I use this in my life?" From your heart, what's your intention?

Dr. James Doty:

Well, hopefully, the book is explicit enough to give you insights and techniques that will allow you to maximize your own ability to manifest. But just as importantly, it hopefully gives you some insights about what's important that you should focus on and not what you think or what society says you should focus on. I think the other powerful message is that many people give away their self-agency. As I said earlier, people have an immense, immense power within themselves, they just don't know it or believe it. When you're able to get in touch with that, it changes everything.

Hopefully, this book is a guide for you to recognize your own power to act on that, and by doing so, make the world a better place. I think that's the important thing at the end. As I said earlier, sure, it would be great if the book did well, but that's not the point. The point is that I believe that there's some messages in there that could help people. Again, if it only helps one person, I'm blessed and thankful and I have no other aspirations. I'm just not attached to that. I did the best I could. I tried to analyze it, I tried to put it out there in a readable fashion, and hopefully, it's helpful. That's all. There's no other added aspect to it.

Susie Moore:

Here we are, and you can even just feel like through the lack of detachment, the love. I did my best for you, here it is. It's coming friends. My gosh, Mind magic. Where do you recommend everyone just go to find out more about you, work with you, get all the things?

Dr. James Doty:

Well, you can search the internet, and sadly and nauseatingly, there are probably a million podcasts out there that I've been on. You can go to the website of the center I run at Stanford, the Center for Compassion and Altruism Research and Education, and that website is CCARE, ccare.stanford.edu. There are many programs that we have there, which I think might benefit many of your listeners. Let's see. I also actually have a podcast, which maybe you do or don't know. There is a podcast called Into the Magic Shop, and if anyone is interested, there's a few interesting characters. Let's see. Remember Warner Erhard?

Susie Moore:

Yes, yes, yes.

Dr. James Doty:

As I said, I'm very blessed to have a number of friends, but Warner's a good friend, and he did actually a profound podcast. Who else is there? Sam Harris. Sam Harris has a podcast. He was on there. Anyway.

Susie Moore:

It's a candy store. It's a candy store out there.

Dr. James Doty:

It is. In fact, did you know Steven Fry, the UK?

Susie Moore:

Oh, yes.

Dr. James Doty:

Yes. He and I had a wonderful time. Actually, John Ham and I did one together. It's a very eclectic collection of individuals, but it's all about kindness, compassion, love, accepting yourself, that's really the goal of it.

Susie Moore:

Dr. Doty, what a conversation. Thank you so much for your time, your love, your expertise. My friends, you've been given your instructions. So many great places to go, thanks to read, listen to, consume to improve your life experience starting now. Until next time, my friends, so much love and ease.

Dr. James Doty:

Yes, and you can pre-order the book now, so please do. I'm sure you will leave a link for that as well.

Susie Moore:

Absolutely, plus a book giveaway. Oh yes! That's something we love to do.

Dr. James Doty:

Oh yes. All right.

Susie Moore:

Book giveaway.

Dr. James Doty:

Susie's going to give away a hundred thousand books, so just sign up now.

Susie Moore:

Mind Magic, Mind Magic.

Dr. James Doty:

Yes, yes.

Susie Moore:

Thank you, Dr. Doty. Thank you, everybody. Until tomorrow.

Dr. James Doty:

You take care.

Susie Moore:

Hey friend, I've got something really cool for you. I want to give you free access to my signature course called Slay Your Year, which typically sells for $997. You can check it out, all the details at slayyouryear.com. All you have to do to get access is leave me a review. Leave a review of this podcast on Apple Podcasts, take a snapshot of it and send it to info@susie-moore.com. That's info@susie-moore.com, and we'll get you set up with access.