How to Believe You Are Enough and Transform Your Life with Jamie Kern Lima

Welcome to Let It Be Easy with Susie Moore.

Susie Moore:

I feel like Jamie Kern Lima needs no introduction. What a woman. Oh my. And if you haven't already ordered or read the book Worthy, please do yourself a huge favor and order it. It's all about believing you're enough and transforming your life. Now, if you've heard of Jamie Kern Lima, it may be along something like a headline saying, Denny's waitress turned billionaire, or biggest female CEO in beauty history because she's the founder of IT Cosmetics. I mean, there are so many stories and so much content around Jamie, but what I can tell you is this, from my heart, I've had the pleasure of interviewing over 60 guests now on the Let It Be Easy podcast, and I can tell you, I can feel the purity, love, and depth of this woman. So yes, we're speaking about her most recent book Worthy. I'm sure it's going to be an instant bestseller.

I certainly hope so because it has the capacity to change lives. But she's not even making a penny from the book. All of the proceeds go to No Child Hungry. I mean, the way that this woman lives, she embodies what she talks about and she speaks about, look how in life we don't soar to the level of our hopes and dreams. We stay stuck at the level of our self-Worth, my friends, jamie conley.com, worthy book.com. Check her out if you don't already know her. This is a real, honest, loving conversation. She coaches me in this conversation. It is a treat. And until next time, I hope there's a part two with Jamie, because you'll see she's definitely a soul you want in your life. I give you, I'm so thrilled to give you Jamie k Lima, Jamie k Lima. Oh my welcome to the Let It Be Easy podcast.

Jamie Kern Lima:

Susie, thank you. So grateful to be here. Excited for this episode.

Susie Moore:

Thank you, Jamie. I read a lot of books. I am Like You. I love personal development, and it's almost like I'm a bit speechless actually, after Reading Worthy. I mean, I actually had, I'll admit pretty high expectations because I've been following you for a while. I think you're one of the most likable people to follow in every capacity. You're so real. And I actually found out about you, believe it or not, a Joel Osteen sermon. That was the first time I heard your name. And of course, I've been enjoying and following your work. And then to receive this Coffee of Worthy and reading it, I'm like, I just want to start off asking, how are you doing?

Jamie Kern Lima:

I'm so excited. The truth is, this is the best work of my life, and I feel like every single one of us, all the things that we go through and learn about ourselves can really become the things we help other people make it through. And so many people kind of know of my story as like, oh, Denny's waitress builds billion dollar company. But my real story is a girl who didn't believe in myself most of my life and has kind of been so obsessed with learning how to, and I just think about how right now, literally Susie, 80% of women don't believe they're enough. And I'm so passionate about getting worthy out into the world because when you fundamentally do not believe you're enough, it is a lie. And this whole book is about how do you unlearn those lies that lead to self-doubt and ignite the truth that wake up worthiness. And so I'm really fired up, and I'm so excited to hear your thoughts on the book because it is literally, yeah.

Susie Moore:

Oh my, Oh, I have thoughts. I have notes, Jamie, and I want to kick off by saying there is not a penny in this for you. I just really think that that's important to stay upfront because there's nothing wrong, of course, with being a profitable author, but that is not why you're doing this at all. Jamie. And I was also emotional when I read some of the causes that you care about. I know this goes to Feeding America and how you support women's shelters. I grew up living in women's shelters, domestic violence shelters, and so everything about, I don't know, I'm like, I've got to hold it together for Jamie today. That was a thought I had earlier for sure. So here you are showing up so generously. I mean, I'll start by saying, I'm ready.

Jamie Kern Lima:

Yes, yes, I'm ready.

Susie Moore:

I shouted that to my husband. Ready? Yeah, I know. We kick off the book with this. I'm ready. I shouted that to just out my living room. My dog looked at me and my husband said, what? But I'm like, no, I'm ready, Jamie.

Jamie Kern Lima:

Well, I hope each and every person listening to us is right, right now is ready when we think about what self-doubt has already cost us in our life. And for me, I mean so long in my life, I believed if I just achieved enough, then I would be enough. Or if I just pleased enough people or got enough approval from the outside world, then I would be enough. And so many of us live our whole lives feeling that way, striving to feel enough, and then we finally get that huge goal or that huge thing we want, or whether it's the relationship or the kids or the job or whatever it might be, the six pack abs. And then we arrive at it and we're like, okay, I thought this was going to finally make me feel enough and finally make me feel happy and finally help me reach fulfillment.

And then we arrive at it and we feel like happy for a few months or maybe a few weeks or a few hours, and then all of a sudden we're like, why do I still feel like something's missing in my life? And so for most of us, we then go, okay, I just got to achieve more. I just got to do more and work harder and all that stuff. And it's sort of this never ending cycle that leaves us feeling not enough. And what I learned really not until just three years ago is my whole life, all the things I was striving to achieve, to literally finally feel enough, they're all helping me build. But underneath it all, I didn't have self-worth. And that's so different. And even working so hard for so many years in achieving all these things that the world told me would be what success is or what would make me feel finally fulfilled and growing and accomplishing stuff and building self-confidence, super important.

But if underneath it all, you don't have self-worth, what I learned, the hard way is you'll either still sabotage things, you'll still stay stuck, or you'll always kind of feel like something's missing or you're not enough. So I think the book, I think, worthy a big reason why I wrote it. Yeah, I'm donating a hundred percent of the proceeds. It's literally just my greatest passion because when I think of a world where women actually learn like, oh, wait a minute, self-worth is very different than self-confidence. And if I actually believe I'm worthy as I am, I think about the ideas that will be birthed and the businesses that people will launch, or the unhealthy relationships that will end. I think about the books that will be written, all of it. So I'm just very, very fired up and I'm so excited. It's also finally out there in the world now. So anyways, yeah, I'm fired up today.

Susie Moore:

I know, and it's interesting you mentioned how people often describe you, Denny's waitress, billion dollar founder, et cetera, and that's so incredible. Yes. And getting to know you intimately through this book. I think it's so, so incredible how you share such intimate stories about yourself, about your past, because it's easy to assume, oh, nice for Jamie, oh, she looks great. Look at our lovely family. Oh, she's probably got seven private jets, but it's so easy to go to. Oh, so someone's writing a book on worthiness who clearly has every reason to. And so when you broke down self-confidence versus self-worth, I was like, whoa. Two parts in particular really spoke to me that self-confidence creates drive and self-worth creates peace. My mental live in peace. Self-confidence brings you the sense of abilities. It's believing in your abilities, but self-worth is just believing in yourself. You, it's not your talents or your competence. Could you tell me how you arrived at that distinction? Because I think it's really the first time I've heard anything like it.

Jamie Kern Lima:

Yeah. And I think, thank you for saying that. I think for so many people listening, this is going to be a big thing in their life because for anybody who is like, why do I feel stuck? Or why am I sabotaging things? Or why am I finally getting things? But I don't feel enough still, I don't feel fulfilled. If that describes anybody that describes you, anybody listening, this is a huge thing. So I thought, Susie, literally I was working so hard to build my business and to serve women, and I was so proud of doing whatever I could to try to shift the definition of beauty in the whole beauty industry around inclusivity. I was growing, working so hard, I was getting all these external accomplishments and how this all happened and how and why I wrote Worthy is because a big moment happened in my life where I realized, oh my gosh, I have what the world tells me success looks like.

And yet underneath it all, I still do not feel like I am enough. I am worthy. And what I know for sure is that our self-worth, I want everyone to hear this in every area of our life, in our business and our relationships, our friendships, our goals and dreams, our self-Worth is our ceiling. And we won't soar to the level of our goals and dreams. We will always stay stuck at the level of our self-Worth. I talk a lot in the book Worthy about how we can even work hard, understand why we're doing it. We can believe it. It's possible. Imagine it's possible. But if underneath it all we don't believe we're worthy of it, we won't rise to what we believe is possible. We'll always fall to what we believe we're worthy of. And I was in this moment in my life where I'd sold when I was a Denny's waitress, I could have never Susie imagined selling a business for a billion dollar over a billion cash that I had started in my living room.

I had worked a hundred hour weeks for a decade, I did all these things. And I was to a point in my life where I thought I should be happy because all these things on the outside were happening that were lifelong dreams and dreams my whole life. From the time I was a little girl, I would watch Oprah in my living room, and I always dreamed one day of meeting her. And when I finally did 40 years later, finally did, I had lunch at her house and we had a three hour lunch. And at the very end of it, and I want everyone to, this is going to seem like a wild story, but every one of us has stories like this in our lives. I thought everything was going so well in my life. All these things on the outside were, and I had a lot of confidence.

I went and had a three hour lunch with Oprah. I was so confident. The lunch was great. At the end of the lunch, she gave me her cell number and said, you can call me anytime. Call me anytime. And I did not call her for four years. And this is what having a lot of confidence but not having self-worth will do for us in this four year window. I thought I knew why I wasn't calling her. I was like, oh, I'm just going to wait for the perfect thing to say, or people probably everyone wants something from her. I'm going to prove I don't need anything. And around four years later, I realized, oh my gosh. The real reason I didn't call her was because deep down inside, I didn't believe I was worthy of being her friend. And I realized I had a whole lot of self-confidence, but not a lot of self-worth.

And just really quick to kind of understand the difference, because I did not understand the difference until very recently, until three years ago when this happened, which self-confidence, while it's an internal trait, is based so much on what's happening on the outside, and it fluctuates. It rises as and falls. It's volatile, it's fragile, right? Self-confidence is our own assessment of our skills. And by the way, self-confidence is very important in life. Let me just say that it's very important. It's just different than self-worth. So self-confidence is how we assess our own skills and abilities, our willingness to try and go for it, how we feel we stack up or compare to others how if we're winning or losing, how much of the world definition of success that we have. And studies show the boxer who wins the fight is automatically 30% more confident. And so our confidence is important, but it rises and falls all the time.

And it's very fragile based on the external, our self-worth is the deep internal knowing that we are innately worthy of love and belonging exactly as we are, not as where we come from or our past mistakes and failures, not as how much we achieve, not as lacks us or does it at the moment. It's that unwavering belief that exactly as we are, we are fully worthy. And so of confidence and self-confidence and self-worth are just very, very different. And if you can imagine the two examples you gave, I love so much, and self-confidence so often is our belief in our abilities as a person. And self-worth is our belief and our value as a person and our self-Worth is almost like that foundation that we then self-confidence can be that house that we build on top of the foundation. And that house will only ever be as sturdy as how secure that foundation is that's under it.

So in that moment with Oprah, when I literally did not call her for four years, I sabotaged this opportunity. It was because underneath it all, I didn't feel worthy. And that was the moment I made the decision to pick up the phone and call her. And for anyone listening right now just quickly to make this super tactical, the way that low self-worth, because it's very different than confidence. And by the way, for and I go into ultimate fulfillment, there's a whole chapter on it. Life, there's so much self confidence. You need growth and you need to be contribution, contribution. Yet all those things, they're important are multiplied by the level of your self-worth. And if you are wondering, gosh, do I have a self-worth issue? Here's the three ways it shows up. The three main ways it shows up, if you have really low self-worth, what that often looks like is you feel stuck and you don't know why.

Stuck you have an idea, but you don't share it. You have art you want to put out in the world, but you don't. You have a business and you don't know why you haven't launched it or put it out there yet because deep down inside, you don't feel worthy of it, but you're just not aware of that. So you just feel really, really stuck. You don't get on the dating app even though you're like, I really want a partner, whatever it might be. So if you have medium self-worth, medium self-worth, what that often looks like is you'll go for the thing, you'll put yourself out there, you'll launch the business, you'll all the things, but then you'll hit a ceiling. Our self-worth is our ceiling. And you'll find yourself sabotaging opportunities. You'll put a potentially great person in the friend zone, even though you want to be dating, and you won't know why you're not attracted to them, or you'll hit a certain level in your business.

And then you'll go like, why am I spending eight hours a day scrolling Instagram instead of why am I sabotaging this right? At the time, I had medium self worth, I sabotaged calling Oprah, even though for me, that had been a lifelong dream. And then if you have medium to high self-worth, what that looks like is you'll go for the things you'll go after. You put yourself out there, you speak on stage, you write the book, you register your domain, you do all the things. You accomplish that thing you always dreamed of, but you still don't feel enough or fulfilled what you do. So that's the three ways that it really shows up in our lives. And the last thing I'll say, because I know you have a lot of achievers too, that I part of your community, and so many of us have big goals and dreams, and a big worry that people have often is like, well, if I believe I'm enough as I'm will, I lose my ambition.

And it's like, oh no, it's actually the opposite. When you learn to believe you are enough and you are, by the way, we're all born fully enough, no one can take that from you. So it's just a matter of how do I unlearn the lies that I believe that tell me I'm not. But every person listening, it does not matter your past mistakes, how much you've achieved, none of it matters. You are fully worthy. And when we truly learn to believer enough as we're, what's so beautiful is it actually accelerates your ambition because you're no longer afraid to go after so and fall flat on your face, fail miserably. Like, okay, maybe it'll shake your confidence for a minute, but it can not touch yourself worth. And so you become more fearless and more ambitious. And then on top of it all, you're actually able to enjoy it when you finally accomplish stuff instead of feeling like it's never enough. So self-worth is really the one thing that changes everything.

Susie Moore:

Jamie, I'm so happy that you are diving so deeply into this topic because the world will have us believe other things, right? It's like you're only as good as your last album. You're only as big as your last. And so it is that confidence that external, the measurement, the piece that we have no control over. You say that the fluctuation happens. It's true. It's very shaky. Even when things are going well, you're like, can I enjoy this?

Jamie Kern Lima:

It's Scary, we think it's our worth. And Susie, it's like every commercial we've ever seen tells us if we just get the dream card, then we're going to be cool. If we just get six pack abs, then we're enough, whatever it might be. And then we also, a lot of us have well-intentioned friends or family, and all they say is like, how's work going? Are you going to have more kids? Are you married yet? So we're getting these reinforced messages that once those things happen, that's how we'll feel enough. And those things can all be beautiful, but they actually don't impact your worth. And we believe that why that they will.

Susie Moore:

So this is why we often show up as what you call the representative too, right? Because it's a scary thing to be yourself in a world that doesn't really want to encourage it, or we are told what to do, we're told what to aim for, even from well-intentioned people like you said. Could you speak about the representative a little? Because I swear 100, well, not 100, but 99% of us I'm sure are there to a degree, small, large, in different cases.

Jamie Kern Lima:

And I think it's something that I love this question because so many people do it without realizing, like you said, 99% show up in this world as our representative, not as our true self. So one way to put it is we wake up in the morning and we put on our fill in your name uniform that everyone the world expects you to show up as, and the person that you've learned. If I'm that person, I'll make enough other people happy. And we don't realize that if every moment we show up in this world as inauthentic to who we truly are, we're telling ourselves we're unworthy of being who we truly are. So every moment we show up as our representative, a bunch of things happen. The first thing is is it chips away at our actual self-worth underneath everything. But no matter how many people that we think we're making happy by showing up as that person, we're actually creating a barrier of disconnection between ourself and that other person.

Because you can only ever have a true authentic connection, which all of us crave so deeply. We all crave love and belonging. We have a loneliness epidemic happening, and then everyone's complaining, they feel lonely, but then they're showing up trying to solve it in ways that actually create more loneliness. And so I go into where there's 20 tools on how to build self-worth, but I go into these lies that lead to self-doubt, and a few of them are, I need to please them in order to love me, or I should only be seen when I'm happy.

Susie Moore:

Yes, that's a great relate.

Jamie Kern Lima:

Yes, There's so many of those. The challenge is that it can be scary to be who we are because we also tell ourselves the lie that if I'm me, I won't be loved. And the truth is, while maybe not everyone will give you their approval, if you're you, the only way to be loved is to be you. And the only way to have true human connection is to be you. And I go into a few, and I think too, Susie, it's part of why your community connects so intimately with you. When you share things about what you've done, despite maybe not having a certain qualification like a degree or how you approach celebrities, different things that you share about yourself that are, people automatically would disqualify themselves if they thought, oh, well, I can't do this unless I have that. Or I can't build a business unless I have.

And it's like, I think by you sharing who you really are and also how you've done it and helping people let it be easy and all the things, but I think that's how people really connect with you. Doing that takes courage, and it takes us being brave because we really are in a world that tells us we really should show up as who we're expected to show up as, especially for women, we're raised that way. But this is really important because if we do not learn to show up authentically as who we are, we will go our entire lives feeling lonely, feeling disconnected, and feeling unworthy. And so I have a whole chapter unworthy called in the Worthy book called You're Not Crazy. You're Just First I know an A poem, an poem, an poem for anyone out there who's ever felt like if they're themselves, they won't be loved or they won't belong or they won't fit in.

I talk about how I went so much in my life feeling that way, and I was adopted, and I have five families that are amazing, by the way. I'm so blessed for the families I have. And even with five families through divorces, et cetera, I have never felt like I am similar to anyone in those families. And growing up, I would have these big wild ideas to solve the world's problems or be a horse for good in the world or any of these things. And a lot of my family would say, oh, you're crazy. Who do you think you are? Where'd you come from? All those things. And in my late twenties, I was going through a really tough time in my life and to my knowledge, no one in any of my five families have ever gone to therapy. And I decided to be the first to go.

And in therapy, I remember asking my therapist my whole life, my families are telling me I'm crazy, and I'm different and odd and strange and quirky. And I'm like, am I crazy? And I remember her saying, no, you're not crazy, but I'm really glad you're here. And she explained to me that when we are one of the brave ones willing to show up as who we authentically are in this world can never be surprised If you feel like you don't fit in or don't belong. It's because you're first, right? And especially if you're the first one, maybe in your family or your peer group or your group of people, you are raised around to think differently or vote differently or pray differently, that it can come with feeling a little bit of you're ostracized or you don't fit in. And what a lot of people do then is they shove down and hide who they are and live their whole lives trying to fit in, and this feeling lonelier than ever.

And when she's explaining all this to me, this moment happened that was like this light bulb moment, so powerful, it felt like a light bulb burst where I realized I'm not crazy. I'm just first, I'm every single person listening right now. Maybe you think like, oh, I'm not first. I'm like everyone else. No, actually, it's indisputable that every person listening to us right now is first because there is no one else in existence quite like you. No one with your fingerprints, no one with your iris and your eyes or your unique tongue print or your heartbeat. There's no one that's ever had the experiences in life that you have the way you've had them. No one has your emotions or sees art or beauty the way you do. And when we, by definition, there's never been a you before, there's never ever going to be another you again.

So if you are someone that's like, what do I have that's unique? I have this idea, but a million people have already done it, or, oh, there's a thousand people in this coaching space. Why am I a special? Here's the deal, y'all. When I embrace this idea, you're not crazy. You're dispersed. When I built a cosmetics, it was an industry with thousands of makeup brands. We launched a concealer. There are millions of concealers. But here's the deal, if you right now are willing to put your art out there, your ideas out there, it does not matter your restaurant out there. It does not matter who's done it before. If you're going to be one of the brave ones willing to do it authentically to you, by definition, you, you're first. By definition, it's never been done before. So don't be surprised if not everyone's going to get it right away or not.

Everyone's going to think it's going to succeed. Building a cosmetics, we spent years getting hundreds and hundreds of nos at people telling me the idea was never going to work, including experts. I really could put on a pedestal inside the industry. But then one day we went from being told it's never going to work for years to being told we were number one in the industry. And then people cheer you on after you make it, and then people say they believed in you the whole time after you make it. So for anyone who needs to hear this today, if they're feeling like, why do I feel odd or strange or different, it's because you are first. If you're going to be brave and show up authentically, you are first. And if you're willing to do your business as who you are, that is your secret sauce. So often we think that things that are wrong or odd or strange or quirky or off or wrong with us are actually the things most right with us. We just have to embrace them.

Susie Moore:

Jamie love in the book how you say It's your unique qualifier. I'm taking that. I'm like Jamie, Jamie kva says, it's your unique qualifier. What a way of looking at it. I'd love to ask you a question for your thoughts on something that happened to me once. It was when I was in my sales career in the tech industry, I'm a very excitable person. It's my personality. I'm the youngest of five girls, and I've been told to be more quiet. It's my kind of quirky, the feedback, let's say I've received. And then one time in my sales career, I was given an opportunity to work in dc. It was for the Romney/Obama election, and the CEO came to town, and I actually just got a very important meeting with a big democratic super pac. And I put down the phone and I was like, I didn't scream because I won't disturb everybody, but I made an audible yelp.

And I was like, I was trying and trying. And then a manager who I spoke to a bit later who I think had good intentions, he gave me some feedback and he said, your personality, it's great, et cetera, et cetera. And he's like, but sometimes when you, I suppose loud was the language, he said, I think it actually discounts your intelligence or the perception of your intelligence. And he said, I know those meetings you're getting are really hard. And I just thought, what would Jamie say about that? Because yes, it is a quirk, but I think the feedback was well intentioned. I know you use your own instinct as your filter. So I was thinking as I was reading your book, what would Jamie say or think?

Jamie Kern Lima:

Okay, so this is going to be a layered answer.

Susie Moore:

Okay.

Jamie Kern Lima:

Everyone who gives feedback like that often has great intentions, and they often are just seeing and giving their best advice through the lens of their own belief system. And I think this is the situation we get put in. I think for some of us, we might be in jobs that we need to keep. And in those cases, we have to make decisions on how do we handle feedback like that based on our situation that we're in and if we need to keep a certain job or a certain position. And so I'm always very mindful, and I think it's because of so many years of having jobs I could not afford to lose. I'm very mindful of going, how do I navigate this at the right time? So I think it's always important to consider that too. And then second, the more it depends on your relationship with him and if he is open to learning from you and if he has any.

Because I think one of the greatest things we can ever do in jobs is learn how to manage up and actually learn how to add so much value to the people above us that we become in a way invaluable to them. But they also have to be open to that feedback. So here's what I'll say about that situation. Okay? Two things. I remember when we thinking about the art of influence and everything else, I remember I eventually did over a thousand live shows on QVC and we were the biggest brand in QVCs history. And that's really hard to do because you're having to hit sales numbers live in real time, and we're talking about hundreds of millions of dollars in sales a year, but it's like one airing at a time, over and over and over and over. It's very hard to hit their sales numbers.

And I remember when you go through the guest training where you have to pass all the tests to be allowed to go on air, and they have this, one of the questions on the test is, what is your number one job as a guest presenting on air, selling on air? And the options were like product knowledge, having the best offer all these options. And one of them was expressing authentic excitement. And the right answer was expressing authentic excitement. And it reminds me of a famous quote by Ed Millet who says that people don't need to believe in what you are selling or saying. They just need to believe that you believe in what you're selling and saying. And so I'm imagining you letting out a huge squeal. I'm imagining a guy or any person saying like, oh, people are going to underestimate you if you do that.

You are going to diminish your power if you do that. And I think in that situation, the likeliness of what him saying is probably well-intentioned and probably true based on other people that have a similar belief system, that if a woman expresses her emotion, she's now no longer as authoritative or strong. And I think the way to combat that and still show up authentically is to manage up. If he was somebody that was more senior professionally in a position at the time than you were to manage up and kind of share with him that actually

Susie Moore:

Jamie, that's that day

Jamie Kern Lima:

I so much more powerful when you truly believe what you're saying and people feel it. And of course you support it with a kickass skillset and everything else to back it up, right? Building trust, delivering on what you say, all the other things. But I think in this situation, and I don't think this, I know this from being in so many boardrooms, from selling my business, from being in private equity rooms, et cetera, et cetera, showing up as who you fully are, as long as you have what, as long as you deliver. If you're there to sell a product or a service, you have to deliver on that product or service. But showing up as who you truly fully are is your superpower. It's contagious when it's authentic. And if someone's letting out a giant scream because they're freaking out that they met someone famous, well, that's probably not going to influence people when they're letting out a giant screen because they're so passionate about a campaign and about stuff happening.

And that's priceless. And that's when people believe you believe in what you're saying and what you're doing, and that's when it's not going to hurt. Something like that. And the last thing I want to say on this, Susie, in case someone needs to hear this today, because we are all told all the time what you were told by that guy, it just comes in different forms, right? It's like, oh, you need to dress a way. I had a potential investor tell me I needed to lose weight or they wouldn't invest in the company. So many, we hear that we're not enough all the time, all around us. And the last thing I'll say to that is after hearing no for three years and then eventually getting a yes on Q vvc, I had the blessing and honor of getting invited back over and over and over doing over a thousand shows in eight years.

And in that time, I met tens of thousands of entrepreneurs that would come in and out of the doors of Q vvc, apple iPhone, Dyson, vacuum, Vitamix, every brand that we all know and love. And what I saw was very few ever make it literally most will go on the air one time from the biggest makeup companies in the world. The biggest technology didn't matter what it was, they would go on air one time, not hit sales numbers and never come back, or maybe they go on air twice, three times, not hit sales numbers everywhere. Over the years I spent and the literally thousands of hours there, I was like, what is the through line or the commonality with the very few people who make it, who get invited over and over and over and build a real big meaningful business? And the way to do that is you have to hit sales numbers.

The way to do that is customers have to connect with you and believe what you're saying. And when I looked at what is that through line, it wasn't the ones that had the most famous product or the most well-funded product or advertising. It wasn't the ones that were the sharpest salespeople. Literally, the only thing, the ones that make it over the long run and are still on there every time you turn your television on have in common is that they're the same on air as they are when they're selling, as they are off air in the green room. And none of them are similar. Some are way out there and quirky and over the top, and some are very introverted and love their technology. They're all different, but they're the same. And it's because you can't fake authenticity. And it goes back to what we were talking about a little bit earlier, that if you ever want a true human connection, whether it's with friends, family, or customers, in this case, you can only do it by being who you truly fully are.

And so it was wild to witness that before my eyes, not just in theory, not just in someone saying it because it sounds good, but literally in millions of customers voting with their wallets and getting behind Yeah, the results. Exactly. And so it's just when we embrace that, it's freeing because so many people probably listening to us right now are knowing that five minutes before the show, they hid who they were or said yes when they met no, or tried to people please someone or was thinking who they were isn't enough. And when we fully learn to believe we're worthy of being who are, it changes every single area in our life. And not everyone is going to get it, but your soul gets it. And that's when you start just supercharging your superpower.

Susie Moore:

Jamie, I could keep you forever. Truly, I could just talk to you for four years nonstop without sleep or even water on this topic. I mean, your book rejection, the things that you share about it, I love this one thing, if I may share, I haven't been rejected. My creator hid my value from them because they're not assigned to my destiny.

Jamie Kern Lima:

Yes.

Susie Moore:

Oh, Jamie, my God.

Jamie Kern Lima:

Yeah. There's a whole, this was almost its own book about how rejection and failure, and I didn't want to wait two more years for the book. So we put this as a chapter in worthy, but yet anyone who feels like their past mistakes or failures have taken root in their identity and their worth. Anyone who wants to know, how do I handle rejection and failure to being fearless about it, go through a whole framework and tools. I'm like, how you do that? That's one of my favorite Susie, even to this day, when someone hurts my, when someone doesn't see my value or betrays me, or someone pulls a rug out from underneath me, or an in-law just doesn't love me and I don't know why, whatever it is, I literally imagine my creator saying, oh, no, no, you are ejected. I hid your value from them because they're not assigned to your destiny. I believe that. I think about every dude that's broke my heart. I'm like, oh, thank God they broke my heart. I mean, it really hurt at the time, but what I trust is they weren't assigned to my destiny. And anyways, it's one of many tools that you can put in your toolbox on definitions that speak true to you on how to reframe rejection and failure and become so much more fearless around him.

Susie Moore:

Oh my God. Even just this,

Jamie Kern Lima:

There's plenty tools in the book,

Susie Moore:

Even just this page, my friends, even just get it for the one page in this book about rejection and how you frame it. It's like a game, how unstoppable you become when you are not at the whimsy, when it's not the yes from someone else that determines how you feel. I mean,

Jamie Kern Lima:

Yes. Amen.

Susie Moore:

Oh my gosh. So I just would love to wrap by reading just a couple of snippets from your poem, if I may, Jamie. I mean, I love this poem. Who knew you're a poet on top of everything else. But three stanzas stood out for me specifically that made me emotional. And they are as follows. And even the well-intentioned people who love you to the bone can see you pursuing your dreams as a reminder of them not fulfilling their own. The first, achieve yourself on and truly believe it, not just fake it, knowing most people won't cheer for you until after you make it. The truth is, accomplishments are but to know you're worthy, you don't need them. And when we know something is true, it feels like joy and tastes like freedom. And that's just a snippet of the poem at the back, Jamie, congratulations. Everywhere books are sold worthy everywhere.

Jamie Kern Lima:

Books are sold. Yeah, worthy. And yeah, I'm donating a hundred percent of the proceeds. I'm so passionate. I feel like, again, we open talking about 80% of women don't believe there enough. And I feel like the time for change has come girl, no woman, no person left behind and knowing they're worthy. And I even Susie, at the end of the book, there's this hard book. There's a library card that is old school where I just want to ask every person listening to us, once you read your book, if you're willing to part with it, okay, please give it to another girl or woman who you know, oh my gosh, if they just saw themselves the way I see them. If they just saw how incredible and beautiful and thoughtful and impactful and all of it, what can they do? How would they feel? Pass your book along.

Or if you want to keep it because you made a million notes in it, then there's a library card. Give someone else's name in your library card and give them one and donating all the proceeds. It's really just like I feel the ideas that we birth all the things that are going to happen when we learn to believe we are worthy. Because in life we don't become what we want, we become what we believe we're worthy of. So it's just that one thing that impacts everything. So thank you so much for having me on and for sharing what you shared as well.

Susie Moore:

Oh my gosh. And my friends, lemme tell you, there are some really, really fun stories in here. There are stories. I mean, I won't give it away, but there's a strip club. There is a crotch on fire story. I mean, there's a hotel room. Oh my gosh, dramatic. When you read a book like this, I tell you, you won't put it down. I finished it so rapidly and I'm going to give it a reread and my friends. Start your worthy circle, buy it for your friends. Just do it. If you love somebody, they're worthy of this. They're worthy of the worthy book. And Jamie, thank you for doing Thank you being you. Thank you for being you. I hope you'll come back one day because I can keep you. I'll keep you here.

Jamie Kern Lima:

I love it. Susie, thank you so much. Thank you for being you also, and thank you for having me.