In my recent survey – and please complete here if you have not already! https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/susieneedsme – the vast majority of you shared with me that what you struggle most with is believing in yourself.
This week I decided to share with you the most shared article (translated into a 5 other languages, even!) that I have written. Ever. It was first published in The Huffington Post in 2014 and its almost 40,000 shares was a turning point for me. It got me my first big radio interviews. It helped created my awesome community (that’s you)! I still get emails and tweets from it – the most touching from a 16 year old boy in Atlanta sharing that it helped him overcome his school bullies. I realised how much this subject needs waaaaay more exposure. We all need to be reminded of the importance of this superpower sometimes.
It’s confidence. Yep – that sexy, critical, often elusive thing that, and this I assure you, is a decision that you can make that you have.
Confident people get what they want – more money, more opportunities, more dating action, more fun, more everything out of every day. Those who believe that they can do something — run a marathon, start an entrepreneurial venture, ask someone out (and have them say yes), win a competitive promotion, fit into their pre-pregnancy jeans, build an awesome social circle, well… they do it.
Our mind is a very powerful tool, and the impact of our thoughts and words cannot be underestimated. Our thoughts create our emotions. Our emotions create our actions. Our actions create our life. Confident people have greater control over their minds and have tuned their mental station to one of “I can do this.”
Here are 9 things that confident people do that you can apply to your life:
1. Do not overcomplicate. You want something? Great! Create a plan to make it yours. Keep your eye on the prize and do not get distracted by other peoples noise or by your own ability to over-think.
2. Focus on what you want. Confident people keep a positive vision in mind of the future. They expect good things to happen to them, and as a result they do, as expectation is a very powerful force.
3. Act as if it’s already yours. People who are self-assured allow their language and actions to be in line with their outcome. This inspires confidence in others too.
4. Use words with intention. Consider the difference with two people discussing their new blog. One could be, “Yes, I’m a blogger. You like travel photography too? Awesome! Check out the images I posted at…” vs. “I’m trying to blog but am not sure I’m doing it right (nervous laugh).” Which blog might you look up?
5. Listen but don’t pay heed to others’ opinions. Other people are well meaning and sometimes err on the side of caution. Confident people listen to other people but do not let their difference of perspective take them off track. It’s your life!
6. Dedicate time to what matters. Confident people are happy to say no to things to make sure they have time and energy for their priorities. Funnily enough, people treat them with more respect as a result.
7. Be cool. Confident types don’t talk endlessly about their accolades. I was once at a fancy event at the New York Stock Exchange and was speaking to an outgoing woman who said she “worked in publishing.” I found out later that evening that she was the editor-in-chief of one New York’s most influential magazines. She was a million times cooler to me after I had found that out fact indirectly.
8. Know failure is sometimes inevitable and don’t fear it. Worrying about failure can keep us from doing anything at all. Confident people are still confident even when they fail. When the chips are down they know it will pass. It always does.
9. Repeat all of the above! Confidence building takes a lifetime. The more we practice confidence as an attitude, the easier it becomes.
The most successful and happy people are not born the most rich, beautiful or talented. They just believe in themselves and go for what they want. Confidence is also a highly attractive quality in others as we all secretly aspire to have more self-assurance. You can decide today that you are a much more confident person. Yes. You can decide. Right now.
“I can” and “I can’t” thoughts create very different emotional spirals, as the mind is very obedient and follows whichever path we direct it. I love what Marcus Gavey said, “With confidence, you have won before you have started.”
Now, which path are you cruisin’ down?
From my heart to yours –