“Don’t worry, no one else knows what they’re doing either.”
As I enter a new decade, I’m reflecting on some of my important life lessons to date.
I’ve never followed a conventional path, and that’s probably my favorite thing about my life so far. Nor have I done most things on my terms and believed early on in creating my life consciously — even when that means making difficult decisions. For example, I’ve moved countries multiple times, left a lucrative job to work for myself, gotten married and divorced, then married again, and I consistently goal myself to do new things that scare me.
Discomfort and change haven’t just been occasional visitors; they’ve been my steadfast tutors.
With humility and an open heart for the lessons yet to come, today I’m excited to share with you over 40 life lessons that have illuminated my path so far.
- There has never been a better time in history to live an extraordinary, unlimited life. Seize it!
- Your wise intuition has the answers. Tune in(ward)!
- Don’t spend significant time on insignificant things.
- We’re all connected. As Mark Nepo says, “Being human is looking so deeply into the other person that you recognize yourself.”
- Be punctual. It shows respect – and that you have your sh*t together. The weakest way to make an entrance is with an apology.
- Life is better when you’re in it (not on the sidelines, watching).
- Take your desires seriously. They’re all you’ve got. Deepak Chopra teaches, “Within every desire is the mechanics for its fulfillment.”
- You don’t have to work in a corporate job. It’s not safe anyway, despite what they tell you. If you can handle a little uncertainty, there’s much more fun and money to be had. Most people would choose misery over uncertainty… but you don’t have to be one of them.
- Laugh often. People who laugh versus get offended or get upset over small stuff have way healthier lives.
- Master your mind. This is the core of all wisdom. Your mind can create a state of bliss or suffering – each with equal ease.
- Kindness counts above all else. It doesn’t matter how good-looking, educated, or interesting someone is. It all means nothing without kindness.
- Worry less. As happiness researcher Shawn Achor says, “Adversities, no matter what they are, simply don’t hit us as hard as we think they will. Our fear of consequences is always worse than the consequences themselves.”
- Always be decluttering! Closets, paperwork, unsupportive friends, apps, inboxes. Simplicity is heaven.
- Rely on your own pep talks. When someone praises you, all it means is that person is in a good mood.
- Make more of an effort to stay in touch with the people you love.
- It’s never about where you start. I come from a small town, a broken home, growing up in domestic violence shelters with an alcoholic father and no money. If you hate your situation, I guarantee you can change it. Your current circumstances are always temporary (both good and bad).
- Don’t forget to stop and look at the moon.
- Stop saying, “I don’t have time,” and tell the truth instead, “This isn’t a priority.”
- Qualifications mean less than you think. Knowledge is only potential power. Doing/creating/building is what counts (and it’s where you gain the best knowledge).
- Read like a maniac — biographies especially. All mistakes that can be made and lessons that can be learned have already been experienced by someone else.
- The biggest regrets come from pleasing other people and changing ourselves to fit in. A Buddhist monk said if you meditated for 20 years, you would arrive at the final message: “Be yourself.”
- Live where you want to live. Despite what you might think — you’re NOT stuck! If you dream of living in New York, Paris, or Sydney — go!
- Love yourself. Especially when you don’t “deserve it.”
- Don’t be too available. People respect your time as much as you do.
- Success isn’t passive. Elizabeth Gilbert says, “Participate relentlessly in the manifestation of your own blessings.”
- Play the long game.
- Trust any urge you have to be generous.
- You can enjoy your haters. Paulo Coelho says, “Haters are confused admirers who cannot understand why everyone loves you.”
- Don’t give up on family.
- Visit a cemetery once in a while. It lends perspective.
- Choose guilt over resentment.
- If you understand the “why,” the “how” becomes much easier. Ralph Waldo Emerson said, “The man who knows how will always have a job. The man who also knows why will always be his boss.”
- Avoid gray areas in all matters – relationships, investments, and projects. Clarity matters.
- Focus on your strengths, always. Owning your strengths will get you much further than improving your weaker areas. Let your strengths shine, and do more of what only YOU can do!
- Time cures heartbreak. Nothing else. As Regina Brett said, “Give time time.”
- Children are beautiful. And so is a child-free life.
- Everyone is scared. Anything that isn’t an act of love is a (silent) call for love. Be gentler than necessary.
- And, as Ricky Gervais said, “Don’t worry, no one else knows what they’re doing either.” We’re all just doing our best as we go along. Let this make you feel free, liberated, and tolerant of others who are doing their best.
- Love is stronger than death. When we lose our loved ones, all that’s lost is their physical form.
- Confidence is simply a willingness to be uncomfortable.
- There’s nothing more energy-consuming than having an enemy. Can you see someone the way God sees them?
- When in doubt, just ask. And before it’s too late!
- Throw everything at your success. So much success can be found in simple volume (and when something matters to you – more is more)!
- Get a full health check-up every so often. You’re worth it.
- You don’t have to “fix yourself.” You’re doing way better than you think you are.
- Keep a picture of yourself as a child on your phone. Look at it often. That’s the person you need to make proud.
- Underthink it.
- Only love is real.
- These two words will change your life when something unwanted happens: So what? (Don’t make it so important)!
- You teach people how to treat you.
- You can be right, or you can be happy. Learn when to let it go.
- Right now, someone less qualified than you is doing what you want to do just because they gave themselves permission to go for it.
- Only you can permit yourself to go for it.
- Give more than is expected.
- Let it be easy!
If you enjoyed these life lessons and want to make 2024 your best year yet, I’m hosting a FREE WORKSHOP to show you how to build more confidence and coach yourself through life’s challenges. Check it out here.
